1)TOM'S EXCUSE 

Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day? 

Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "School-Go Slow". 

汤姆的借口

老师：汤姆，您为什么每天上学迟到？

汤姆：我每次路过拐角，一个路标上面写着："学校----慢行。" 

2)Tom call Jim's name:"I can't bear such a foolish!" 

and Jim say:"You mother could (bear)!" 

汤姆对着吉姆骂道:"我受不了你这个苯蛋了!" 

吉姆说:"你妈妈能!" 

附:bear 有两重意思:"生"和"忍受"这个笑话正是根据这点. 

3)A man goes to church and starts talking to God. 

He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" 

and God says: "A penny", 

then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" 

and God says: "a second", 

then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" 

and God says "In a second" 

一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.

他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"

上帝回答:"一便士."

男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"

上帝说:"一秒钟."

最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"

上帝回答:"过一秒钟."

4)Mother sent Tommy to the store across the street to buy a good box of matches.

When Tommy came back,mother asked him,”Did you buy a good box of matches?”

“Yes,Mum.”Tommy replied,”I have tried them all.”

妈妈让汤米去马路对面的商店里买一盒好用的火柴。

汤米回来后，妈妈问他，“你买的是好用的火柴吗？”

“是的，妈妈。”汤米回答，“我把它们都试过了。”